Gather 'round, ladies a germs. I'm about to recount to you all a tale. A tale of 18 hormone-fueled young men, each with one goal...

Victory.

At the beginning, we had 18. Rycerz. Ogier. Smok. 18 men divided into 3 teams of six.

Najim was the first to go, His communication skills being...lackluster. Then, Aaron Mason. I didn't know him. Then, Jon Diesta. I didn't know him. Then, Aaron Petrie. I didn't know him. Then, Bryce. I didn't know him. Then, Jastine. I kinda knew him. Then, Isaac varcoe. Thing about Isaac is, I'm actually pretty tight with him now. In fact, as I type this, I'm coming to the realization that he was actually in this game. I guess that's how we met. No shit.

Next up on the chopping block was Avery. A lot can be said about this magical man. A man of few words, but a deceptive strategy. A man who can be compared only to the best and brightest of those who lurk in the shadows. People like The Phantom of the Opera, or Jack the Ripper, or Ron Jeremy if you're feeling kinky. In the end, he was a threat, and needed to go.

After Mr. Jeremy came Marco, voted out only because of paranoia, 'least that's how this old geezer sees it. This was the first merge vote...I think? whatever, I don't even care. Point is, we barely knew anything about these people. We were playing a game against them, yet we didn't even know their favorite color, or their favorite genre of music, or favorite brand of lube. We voted Marco because we perceived her as a threat. Maybe she was, who knows? Sorry Marco, I feel like you deserved a better place.

Next came Nuno. Holy shit, this guy. THIS GUY. You can't even sum this guy up in a few sentences. Normally I like to think I can garner a general idea of how people will behave, or act, due to patterns in their attitude/emotions/etc. This guy though, you can't read him. I think I'm finally realizing why they all call him one of the best social players, cause he can play someone like a damn fiddle. If the devil went down to georgia and Nuno was there, the devil would be fucked. HARD. Unfortunately I believe this kind of mysterious demeanor caused us to target him. Would have been an interesting council with him there.

Following Nuno, Brian got axed. I didn't know him.

Preceding this, the one, the only, LP. The man who pretty much popularized the term sheep for this season, which I'll never forgive you for. He kinda went nuts one night and posted this big thread about how we're all sheep and how he's gonna get shit off his chest before he gets voted out, and then he didn't get voted out. It was the funniest shit ever. I will never forget that. Now that the game's over he is actually a really cool guy, so there's no hard feelings after that whole blowout. This shit is stressful, yo, and expecting the unexpected is the only way to truly be prepared for a season.

After Luke came Matthew. This hit me so hard, because I loved talking to Matt about superheroes, other players, weiners...everything. I was originally going to quit when the final 5 came. I didn't want to vote for Matt, Ben, Alex, or Jerby, so everyone would just vote for me and I'd be gone. Then Jerby Jerb (SHOUTOUT TO MY HOME BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII) and Alex came to me and we made the final three alliance. Well that worked about as well as using sponges and a coffee cup for a pocket pussy. It blew up in our faces.

Following Matt's untimely demise, Wyatt got voted out. Wyatt was really weird. I felt like he would always say the weirdest shit at the worst time. You could never tell what he was trying to accomplish, or if he was even trying to do anything but be an annoying asshole. It's like, I know he was trying to be funny, but that kind of shock humor just doesn't get appreciated by everyone. It's like he twisted his nipples up to 11, but in reality it should be at AT LEAST a 7. Tone it down, dayum son.

After Wyatt was Ben. Ben was a cool guy, but he didn't talk much. I can't really say that affected his game since he made it so far, but who knows. He was strong at challenges and I'm sure he had some secrets stuffed up his butthole to boot. Very clever. I liked him. If i were a girl, I would probably date him.

Now we have our final three. Jerby. Alexjason. James.

Jerby, I fucking love you. You are everything I look for in a human being wrapped up in one shiny package. The game you played was goddamn brilliant. I read your thread, and holy shit you were a sneaky little rat. Thing is, you didn't even make it seem like that. Wow. 10/10 Jerby for president.

Alexjason, I love you like a brother, but I think you're more of a follower, not a leader. This isn't bad at all though, because look where it got you! You had the social skills to get yourself in on the alliances, and from there you would lay low until you had to act. Your performance was great, and it got you to the final three. Congrats man, even being here should make you proud.

James, I'm sorry, but how did you make it this far? On a lot of luck, I think. I really didn't agree with some of your practices, like sending me a fake screenshot claiming Matt was gonna vote me out, when he wasn't. I never really trusted you, but hey, you made it this far, so congrats. I'm not about to bad-mouth a player who made it farther than I. You should be proud of how far you've come. You were the youngest player in the game and you went on to make final three, so really good job man.

oh, i vote jerby btw.